M's and double plays

The Seattle Mariners are overachievers.

The other day after listening to the M's lose 2-1 in 14 inning to the Tigers--a game in which they hit into three twin-killings and had the potential tying run thrown out at the plate in the bottom of the 14th--I wondered aloud on Facebook how a team that gets so few baserunners and whiffs so often mangages to hit into so many double plays.

DP. It's happening to the M's a lot.

This evening I dug up the stats, and the numbers are truly amazing. Through Sunday's games the Mariners are 27th in Major League Baseball in on-base percentage (a paltry .285) and second in whiffs (167) yet somehow they have managed to lead all of baseball, grounding into 20 double plays.

I vaguely remember Bill James writing that the highest-scoring teams hit into the most double plays and leave the most men on base. I didn't dig up the reference, but the logic, as I recall, was simply that all three are to a great extent a function of having a lot of guys ON base. So for Seattle, a club that has a low average, draws few walks, and strikes out a ton, to lead the league in GDPs is quite an accomplishment. It could simply be that we've got a lot of slow guys who hit grounders. Even on the rare occasion when someone gets on first, it's just the pitcher's best friend waiting to happen.

One other interesting stat: The M's are tied for 26th in the majors in runs scored with 61. The three teams they've outscored are all National League clubs that let their pitchers bat. Nevertheless, let's be thankful for the Miami Marlins. Miami is last in baseball in scoring with a meager 43 runs in 19 games. Their team OPS is .557, average .212, on-base .271, and slugging .286. As a team they have six home runs already; they're "on a pace" for 51 taters for the season. As pathetic as we think the Mariners' offense is, they're outscoring Miami by nearly two runs per game.

Three great shows: August, LLL, and Two Trains

Weisenheimer has been pretty quiet of late, but we've seen three fantastic plays over the last month and just had to share.

Top of the list is Balagan Theatre's incredible production of August: Osage County, the Pulitzer Prize-winning play by Tracy Letts, directed for Balagan by Shawn Belyea. It's not just the play of the month, but possibly the best show I've seen in at least the last couple of years. It's a great text, and Belyea gets outstanding performances from a cast of 13 that includes some of our favorite local actors.

Shellie Shulkin as Violet Weston, left, dispenses some truth
to daughter Barbara Fordham (Teri Lazzara) in Balagan
Theatre's production of August: Osage County. Balagan
photo by Truman Buffett.

Everyone is so good that it feels a bit unfair to single anyone out, but I must. Charles Leggett is outstanding as Weston family patriarch Beverly, though he's only around for the first 20 minutes or so and spends the next three hours offstage either at the bottom of the lake or in the morgue. Teri Lazzara is dynamite as eldest daughter Barbara Fordham, returning to the old homestead to take charge now that dad is gone. A trio of folks who I tend to think of as great comic actors--Chris Ensweiler, Lisa Viertel, and Kate Jaeger--turn in superb, mostly serious performances (though there's plenty of comic relief in Osage County and Jaeger in particular has some funny lines). Gordon Carpenter is charming and totally creepy as Steve Heidebrecht, fiancé of Jaeger's character, Karen Weston.

Even given this great cast, the show belongs to Shellie Shulkin, who is an absolute tour de force as the pill-popping, chain-smoking, truth-telling matriarch of the clan, Violet Weston. Playing drunk or stoned is tough; it's easy to wind up just goofy or sloppy. But Shulkin nails it, and I expect the family likes her better when she's wasted, because in her more lucid moments she's blunt, vicious, and just high-octane mean. It's a truly remarkable performance.

Hats off to everyone; I'm tempted to rate August: Osage County as the best among the many great shows Balagan has done, though I remain partial, too, to Elephant's Graveyard of 2009 and to the very first Balagan show I saw, Othello in 2008. Longtime readers of this blog may recall that Weisenheimer serves on the board of Balagan Theatre, but this doesn't make me biased. Still, go see for yourself; the show runs through April 27 at the Erickson Theatre Off Broadway. Tickets here.

Mike Dooly was oh-so-creepy as Costard
in Seattle Shakespeare Company's Love's
Labour's Lost. Photo: John Ulman.

Across town at Seattle Shakespeare Company they put on a really fine production of Love's Labour's Lost, directed by John Kretzu. We were especially pleased that, at the end, we were pretty sure the women weren't going to come back in a year and hook up with King Ferdinand and his dumb-ass team of frat boys. We thought that Samara Lerman was super as the princess of France.

Some of the most shining individual performances came from the supporting characters. Mike Dooly was amazing, creepy, yucky, and totally creepy as Costard, the clown. Clowns are scary anyway, but this one is one of the toppers yet. Believe us, kids, when we say you don't want to find Dooly under your bed. Outstanding in a more comical and lighthearted way were George Mount as Sir Nathaniel and David Quicksall as the goofy Spaniard Don Adriano de Armado. Quicksall, in fact, came out as top character in Seattle Shakes' bracket battle, their version of the March madness meme, this despite my vote for Costard over the Don in the quarterfinal round.

Kretzu made some great choices as director and created a marvelous and memorable show. We hope he will be back at Seattle Shakes again. Love's Labour's Lost closed up April 7.

Finally we saw August Wilson's Two Trains Running directed by Lou Bellamy at the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland. The top-notch cast included some OSF favorites (Kevin Kenerly, Josiah Phillips, Kenajuan Bentley, and Tyrone Wilson) and some Ashland newcomers (Terry Bellamy, Bakesta King, and Jerome Preston Bates.) Bellamy was fabulous as Memphis, the owner of the diner where the action takes place. King was grand as his comically slow-moving waitress. Kenerly amazed as usual with his character Sterling, the ambitious ex-con who finally gets the ham for Wilson's character Hambone.

Two Trains Running was pure pleasure, a marvelous story, expertly directed, with a strong, professional cast. Kudos to set designer Vicki Smith for creating the diner in the condemned building. It worked beautifully. It's the kind of home run that happens often in Ashland.

You've got time to see this one; it runs at OSF through July 7.

M's promotions continue to baffle

It's been nearly three months since the last Weisenheimer post because I've been waiting until I had something really important to say: The Seattle Mariners' promotions can be baffling.

The latest chin-scratcher is "Beard Hat Night" which is coming up on Friday, April 26 when the M's play the Angels. They were in full-plug mode for this promotional event during last night's broadcast. The giveaway item is accurately and descriptively named, but as Ansel Adams once said, there is nothing worse than a sharp image of a fuzzy concept. There's the sharp image at left. The fuzzy concept is a knit cap with a knit beard attached. On those cold, Safeco Field evenings in April, you'll be able to keep your chin warm! Want one? The first 20,000 fans through the turnstiles next Friday get one free. At current attendance rates, this would leave quite a few extras that could be distributed at homeless shelters and other places where cold chins are a problem. Still, I'm sure that many folks are busy ordering tickets just to get a beard hat to add to their Mariner memorabilia collection.

Who thinks of this stuff? We wonder if the beard hat concept was cooked up to honor manager Eric Wedge, who is sporting a beard these days; my Sweetie, the official scorer, wants to fine him $100 for each day until he shaves it off. Maybe it was a nod to bearded pitcher Brandon Maurer, though a rookie hurler with an ERA of 9.95 isn't typically the sort upon whose shoulders (or chin) a big gate attraction is built.

More mysterious than beard hat night is the following evening's promotion. April 27 at the Safe will be Dustin Ackley bat night. As of this writing Ackley is batting .143 with an OPS of .356. Will the Ackley autographed bat given away that game have holes in it? This reminds me of the beloved bat I owned as a kid. It was christened the "Ray Oyler Toothpick" in honor of the outstanding shortstop who hit .165 for the Seattle Pilots in 1969.  Oyler's career-high seven homers that year helped drive his OPS up to .526, which dwarfs Ackley. (I apparently had an affinity for light-hitting shortstops as a kid; I still have my Dal Maxvill (career average .217) model baseball mitt.)

In his defense, Ackley has been on a tear. He was batting only .091 a week ago; if he continues on this hot streak he may be above the Mendoza Line by next Saturday. Otherwise, he may set a record for lowest batting average by a guy who has his name on bat night.

At right is a photo of my favorite M's promotional item ever--or at least part of it. "Anything Can Happen" was the team's official slogan in about 1984, and this medallion was once attached to a keychain that was given away at a game one night. I thought it was such a funny slogan--the "anything" that happened was a 74-88 record that year, the second-best in the team's dismal history to that point--that I used the keychain for many years. The chain broke ages ago, but I still keep the medallion in my spare-change dish just for a laugh.

Nothing yet tops the 2011 giveaway of the Franklin Gutierrez flyswatter, unless it's the J.J. Putz soul patch, pictured at left. I don't own one, but there's one for sale at Gasoline Alley Antiques, which has a lot of M's stuff in stock, including a certificate that proclaims "I was in attendance for Gaylord Perry's 300th Career Victory." The certificate is autographed by the Hall of Fame pitcher. There were few of those issued; attendance at the May 6, 1982 milestone game at the Kingdome was 27,369. Famously, two days later "Funny Nose Glasses Night" drew 36,716. That particular giveaway was hatched as something of a joke; the 1981 jacket night commercial below, with outfielder Tom Paciorek, started it. There's a great story about the night on the M's website. According to the yarn, people were interested in the glasses and, in true War-of-the-Worlds fashion, believed the promotion was real and called the team to ask when it was. They made it happen the following year. Also interesting to consider: three of the promotions on this page feature whiskers. I wonder how many other hairy promotions the M's have run over the years. Not sure if Buhner or Boonie Buzz Cut Nights count.

Say what you will, beard cap night is certainly creating a fuzz; er, buzz. After all, they tricked me into writing about it.

Jesus Hops the A Train... with six Gypsy Awards

Jesus Hopped the A Train brought home more honors from the Seattle Theater Writers circle than any other play of 2012; the Azeotrope production received six awards for excellence among the group's second annual slate of Gypsy Rose Lee Awards.

Seattle Theater Writers recognized Richard Nguyen Sloniker
for Excellence as a Lead Male Actor for his performance in
Azeotrope's Jesus Hopped the A Train, which received six
Gypsy Awards in all, including Excellence in Production of
a Play. Azeotrope photo by Jessica Martin.

“The winners represent coming to a consensus, which can be quite a challenge,” said Miryam Gordon, ringleader of Seattle Theater Writers. “It’s not easy to get people with very different opinions to agree. I think if we all agree, that must mean more than any one of our opinions on our own. And we all take these selections quite seriously.”

In addition to awards in 32 categories, Seattle Theater Writers also gave a Special Award of Recognition to Kathy Hsieh for Excellence in Playwriting in recognition of her long-running serial, Sex In Seattle, which wrapped up with Episode 20 last year. 

This was Weisenheimer’s first year participating with Seattle Theater Writers. My main difference with the group was my love for Strawberry Theatre Workshop’s production of Accidental Death of an Anarchist, which I received my vote for top play of the year as well as my nod for excellence in performance of a lead male actor for Ryan Higgins. I wasn’t able to persuade the group to go along with those particular ratings. As Gordon noted, reaching consensus is a challenge, and all of the honorees are most worthy of recognition.

The 2012 Gypsy Rose Lee Award Winners are:

Excellence in Production of a Play 

(Large Budget): The Pitmen Painters — ACT Theatre

(Small Budget): Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope

Excellence in Production of a Musical

(Large Budget): The Producers — Village Theatre

(Small Budget): Spring Awakening — Balagan Theatre 

Excellence in Direction of a Play

(Large Budget): Allison Narver — Or, — Seattle Repertory Theatre 

(Small Budget): Desdemona Chiang — Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope

Excellence in Direction of a Musical

(Large Budget): Steve Tomkins — The Producers — Village Theatre

(Small Budget): Eric Ankrim — Spring Awakening — Balagan Theatre

Excellence in Performance as a Lead Male Actor

(Large Budget): David Hogan — The Art of Racing in the Rain — Book-It Repertory

(Small Budget): Richard N. Sloniker — Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope

Excellence in Performance as a Lead Female Actor

(Large Budget): Jennifer Lee Taylor — Pygmalion — Seattle Shakespeare Company

(Small Budget): Mary Ewald — Happy Days — New City Theater

Excellence in Performance as a Supporting Male Actor — any non-lead

(Large Budget): Nick DeSantis — The Producers — Village Theatre

(Small Budget): Dumi — Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope

Excellence in Performance as a Supporting Female Actor — any non-lead

(Large Budget): Jeanne Paulsen — Pygmalion — Seattle Shakespeare Company 

(Small Budget): Nike Imoru — Titus Andronicus — upstart crow

Excellence in Performance as an Ensemble

(Large Budget): Or, — Seattle Repertory Theatre (Kirsten Potter, Basil Harris, Montana von Fliss)

(Small Budget): Kittens in a Cage — Annex Theatre (Francesca Mondelli, Katie Driscoll, Lisa Viertel, Laurel Ryan, Tracy Leigh, Erin Pike, Erin Stewart)

Excellence in Set Design

(Large Budget): Scott Bradley — Clybourne Park — Seattle Repertory Theatre

(Small Budget): Deanna Zibello — Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope 

Excellence in Costume Design

(Large Budget): Catherine Hunt — Or, — Seattle Repertory Theatre

(Small Budget): Katie Hegarty — The Fairytale Lives of Russian Girls — WET

Excellence in Lighting Design

(Large Budget): L.B. Morse — Hedda Gabler — Intiman Theatre

(Small Budget): Amiya Brown — The Skriker — Janice Findley Productions

Excellence in Sound Design

(Large Budget): Evan Mosher — The Bells — Strawberry Theatre Workshop

(Small Budget): Michael White Hayes — Team of Heroes: Behind Closed Doors — Annex Theatre

Excellence in Musical Direction

(Large Budget): Jmichael — Pullman Porter Blues — Seattle Repertory Theatre

(Small Budget): Kimberley Dare — Spring Awakening — Balagan Theatre 

Excellence in Choreography or Movement

(Large Budget): Kristin Bohr Holland — The Producers — Village Theatre

(Small Budget): Pat Graney — The Skriker — Janice Findley Productions

Excellence in Local Playwriting

S.P. Miskowski — Emerald City — Live Girls! Theater

Excellence in Local Composing

Christian "Lil Kriz" Beeber — Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope

Founded in 2011 and comprised of local writers and reviewers, Seattle Theater Writers is a group dedicated to raising public awareness of theater practitioners and the work produced by professional Equity and non-Equity theater organizations.

Seattle Theatre Writers nominations for Gypsy Awards

Azeotrope's Jesus Hopped the A Train
topped all shows with 10 nominations
for Gypsy Awards from Seattle Theater
Writers. The winners will be
announced Jan. 25

Weiseinheimer has been playing in the sandbox with Seattle Theater Writers, a critic's circle of local theater writers and reviewers, which just goes to show the group isn't too picky. Last week we put our heads together and came up with nominations for the second annual Gypsy Rose Lee Awards, our gang's top honors for excellence in Seattle-area theater. The winners will be announced Jan. 25.

“The range of nominees is a terrific representation of the enormous variety of excellent theatrical performances last year in Seattle, as well as the variety of opinions from our writers!” said Seattle Theater Writers founder and ringleader Miryam Gordon. “We feel our final slate reflects a real cornucopia of delights from a critics’ choice perspective.”

Azeotrope's Jesus Hopped the A Train leads this year's pack with 10 nominations. Torso, by Printer's Devil Theatre, received nine, and Or, (Seattle Rep) and Pygmalion (Seattle Shakespeare Company) each received seven. There was a lot of love for the Rep, which received a total of 13 nominations, the most of any company.

The rest of the Seattle Theater Writers: José Amador (Seattle Star), Stefan D-W (The Sunbreak), Miryam Gordon (Seattle Gay News and CultureMob), Jerry Kraft (Seattle Actor), Michael Strangeways (Seattle Gay Scene), and Scott Taylor (Drama in the Hood). You can follow Seattle Theater Writers on Facebook.

The nominees are:

Excellence in Production of a Play

(Large Budget):

Accidental Death of an Anarchist — Strawberry Theatre Workshop

Or, — Seattle Repertory Theatre

Pygmalion — Seattle Shakespeare Company

The Pitmen Painters — ACT Theatre

(Small Budget):

Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope

Kittens in a Cage — Annex Theatre

Superior Donuts — Seattle Public Theater

Torso — Printer's Devil Theatre

Excellence in Production of a Musical

(Large Budget):

The Producers — Village Theatre

(Small Budget):

A Mouse Who Knows Me — Annex Theatre

Avenue Q — Balagan Theatre

Spring Awakening — Balagan Theatre

Excellence in Direction of a Play

(Large Budget):

Gabriel Baron — Accidental Death of an Anarchist — Strawberry Theatre Workshop

Valerie Curtis-Newton — Dirty Story — Intiman Theatre

Allison Narver — Or, — Seattle Repertory Theatre

Jeff Steitzer — Pygmalion — Seattle Shakespeare Company

(Small Budget):

Russ Banham — Superior Donuts — Seattle Public Theater

David Burnett — Torso — Printer’s Devil Theatre

Desdemona Chiang — Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope

Suzanne Cohen — Odin's Horse — Mirror Stage Company

Excellence in Direction of a Musical

(Large Budget):

Steve Tomkins — The Producers — Village Theatre

(Small Budget):

Eric Ankrim — Avenue Q — Balagan Theatre

Eric Ankrim — Spring Awakening — Balagan Theatre

Excellence in Performance as a Lead Actor

(Large Budget):

Mark Anders — Pygmalion — Seattle Shakespeare Company

Ryan Higgins — Accidental Death of an Anarchist — Strawberry Theatre Workshop

David Hogan — The Art of Racing in the Rain — Book-It Repertory

Trieu Tran — Uncle Ho to Uncle Sam — ACT Theatre

(Small Budget):

Richard N. Sloniker — Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope

John Q. Smith — Torso — Printer's Devil Theatre

Excellence in Performance as a Lead Actress

(Large Budget):

Suzanne Bouchard — The Glass Menagerie — Seattle Repertory Theatre

Kirsten Potter — Or, — Seattle Repertory Theatre

Jennifer Lee Taylor — Pygmalion — Seattle Shakespeare Company

(Small Budget):

Mary Ewald — Happy Days — New City Theater

Hannah Victoria Franklin — White Hot — Marxiano Productions

Sarah Milici — Suddenly Last Summer — Theatre 9/12

Sarah Rudinoff — Torso — Printer's Devil Theatre

Excellence in Performance as a Supporting Actor — any non-lead

(Large Budget):

Peter Crook — Clybourne Park — Seattle Repertory Theatre

Nick DeSantis — The Producers — Village Theatre

Jason Harber — Accidental Death of an Anarchist — Strawberry Theatre Workshop

Dan Kremer — Antony and Cleopatra — Seattle Shakespeare Company

(Small Budget):

Dumi — Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope

Stephen Hando — Torso — Printer's Devil Theatre

Charles Norris — Superior Donuts — Seattle Public Theater

Ray Tagavilla — Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope

Excellence in Performance as a Supporting Actress — any non-lead

(Large Budget):

E. Faye Butler — Pullman Porter Blues — Seattle Repertory Theatre

Ryah Nixon — Rent — The 5th Avenue Theatre

Jeanne Paulsen — Pygmalion — Seattle Shakespeare Company

(Small Budget):

Susannah Burney — Torso — Printer's Devil Theatre

Angela DiMarco — Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope

Nike Imoru — Titus Andronicus — upstart crow

Morgan Rowe — Emerald City — Live Girls! Theater

Excellence in Performance as an Ensemble

(Large Budget):

Accidental Death of an Anarchist — Strawberry Theatre Workshop (Ryan Higgins, Jason Harber, Timothy Hyland, Galen Joseph Osier, MJ Sieber, Rhonda J. Soikowski)

Old Times — ACT Theatre (Anne Allgood, Cheyenne Casebier, Jeffrey Frace)

Or, — Seattle Repertory Theatre (Kirsten Potter, Basil Harris, Montana von Fliss)

The Pitmen Painters — ACT Theatre (Daniel Brockley, Christine Marie Brown, Frank Lawler, Charles Leggett, Jason Marr, Joseph P. McCarthy, Morgan Rowe, R. Hamilton Wright)

(Small Budget):

Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope (Richard Nguyen Sloniker, Dumi, Ray Tagavilla, Patrick Allcorn, Angela DiMarco)

Kittens in a Cage — Annex Theatre (Francesca Mondelli, Katie Driscoll, Lisa Viertel, Laurel Ryan, Tracy Leigh, Erin Pike, Erin Stewart)

Titus Andronicus — upstart crow (Amy Thone, Kate Wisniewski, Tracy Hyland, Brenda Joyner, Rhonda Soikowski, Kelly Kitchens, Ki Gottberg, Nike Imoru, Peggy Gannon, Sarah Harlett, Therese Diekhans, Zoey Belyea, Kacey Shiflet, Nicole Merat, Terri Weagant, Donna Wood)

Torso — Printer's Devil Theatre (Sarah Rudinoff, John Q. Smith, Stephen Hando, Susanna Burney, Emily Chisholm)

Excellence in Set Design

(Large Budget):

Scott Bradley — Clybourne Park — Seattle Repertory Theatre

Matthew Smucker — Or, — Seattle Repertory Theatre

Carey Wong — A Single Shard — Seattle Children's Theater

(Small Budget):

Bryan Boyd and Suzi Tucker — The Illusion — Sound Theater Company

Timothy Siciliano — The Skriker — Janice Findley Productions

Craig Wollam — Superior Donuts — Seattle Public Theater

Deanna Zibello — Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope

Excellence in Costume Design

(Large Budget):

Ron Erickson — Accidental Death of an Anarchist — Strawberry Theatre Workshop

Catherine Hunt — Or, — Seattle Repertory Theatre

Deanne Middleton — Pygmalion — Seattle Shakespeare Company

Deb Trout — Romeo and Juliet — Intiman Theatre

(Small Budget):

Eve Cohen — The Skriker — Janice Findley Productions

Katie Hegarty — The Fairytale Lives of Russian Girls — WET

Nina Moser — Happy Days — New City Theater

Kimberley Newton — Titus Andronicus — upstart crow

Excellence in Lighting Design

(Large Budget):

Michelle Habeck — A Single Shard — Seattle Children's Theatre

L.B. Morse — Hedda Gabler — Intiman Theatre

Rick Paulsen — No Man's Land — ACT Theatre

Andrew D. Smith — Pygmalion — Seattle Shakespeare Company

(Small Budget):

Robert Aguilar — Torso — Printer's Devil Theatre

Amiya Brown — The Skriker — Janice Findley Productions

Geoff Korff — Titus Andronicus — upstart crow

Jessica Trundy — Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope

Excellence in Sound Design

(Large Budget):

Evan Mosher — The Bells — Strawberry Theatre Workshop

Chris R. Walker — Or, — Seattle Repertory Theatre

Robertson Witmer — The Art of Racing in the Rain — Book-It Repertory

(Small Budget):

Paul Hansen — The Skriker — Janice Findley Productions

Michael White Hayes — Team of Heroes: Behind Closed Doors — Annex Theatre

Jay Weinland — Odin's Horse — Mirror Stage Company

Excellence in Musical Direction

(Large Budget):

Jmichael — Pullman Porter Blues — Seattle Repertory Theatre

Tim Symons and Bruce Monroe — The Producers — Village Theatre

(Small Budget):

Kimberley Dare — Spring Awakening — Balagan Theatre

Excellence in Choreography or Movement

(Large Budget):

Kristin Bohr Holland — The Producers — Village Theatre

Sonya Dawkins — Pullman Porter Blues — Seattle Repertory Theatre

Denis Jones — Damn Yankees — The 5th Avenue Theatre

(Small Budget):

Pat Graney — The Skriker — Janice Findley Productions

Paul Ray — Disco Pigs — Sound Theater Company and Giant Productions

Lexi Scamehorn and Kathryn Van Meter — Spring Awakening — Balagan Theatre

Excellence in Local Playwriting

Kelleen Conway Blanchard — Kittens in a Cage — Annex Theatre

Keri Healey — Torso — Printer's Devil Theatre

S.P. Miskowski — Emerald City — Live Girls! Theater

Robert Schenkkan — A Single Shard — Seattle Children's Theatre

Excellence in Local Composing

John Ackerman — Torso — Printer's Devil Theatre

Christian "Lil Kriz" Beeber — Jesus Hopped the A Train — Azeotrope

Myra Platt and Theresa Holmes — Prairie Nocturne — Book-It Repertory

Anastasia Workman — Cafe Nordo: Somethin's Burning

24 little hours

A film crew has been at 14/48: The World's Quickest Theater Festival the last couple of weekends shooting a documentary about the event, and last night as I was waiting in line at ACT Theatre they pulled me aside for a quick interview from the audience perspective. My comments were that 14/48 is better than Christmas, and that we reserve dates for it on our calendars as soon as we know them. I also allowed that, despite the fact that the odds are horribly stacked against the artists, somehow they usually prevail and the pressure cooker that is 14/48 delivers gems. Except, I added, for Friday night.

As luck would have it, we had friends and business colleagues in town from San Francisco Friday and dragged them out to our favorite theater event, and the result was something of a dud. We weren't very fond of any of the plays. The best of the lot was Pianos, Bikes, Swimming, and God, written by Wayne Rawley and directed by Pattie Miles Van Beuzekom. The sketch featured a lesbian couple, played by Amy Christer and Tonya Andrews, who were freaking out about the impending arrival of their first child. Beyond that, Darragh Kennan's caveman playing off the crowd during Gift From Moon was a rare highlight.

Our group speculated that the evening's theme, "God Will Provide", caused the artists to get altogether too ontological about things. At any rate, nobody seemed to think God provided us with very good plays on Friday. Despite this, everyone seemed to enjoy the outing, and the company. We hoped that plays Saturday, based on the theme "Something to Write Home About", would indeed be noteworthy.

Amazingly, the same group of artists that whiffed on Friday delivered seven pretty solid shows on Saturday. My favorite again was penned by Rawley, his Camp Lake SunnyLake, directed by Andrew Huntley, being a hilarious spoof of slasher flicks, in which all of the drug- or sex-crazed camp counselors get whacked. I know, sounds like a million laughs. It was! I also really loved I Dare You, written by Marcy Rodenborn and directed by Beth Raas-Bergquist, in which a sketchy character played by the delightful Seanjohn Walsh is running something of a hostel for traveling youth. They get high, they get jiggy on public transit, and in the end get past some issues in their pasts. In Betsy Barker, Episode #37 Teru McDonald plays the title character, an undercover animal control agent who busts up a hilariously evil puppy mill, leaving carnage in her wake. I know, sounds like a million laughs. It was! Mark Fullerton directed the script by Scot Augustson. Paul Mullin's The Patriarch was the story of a bitter father, his priest and soldier sons, and long-suffering wife, directed by Pamala Mijatov and performed admirably by Ben Burris, Danial Chercover, Stephanie Kim, and Sean Ryan. Not a bit funny, but the one serious gut-socker of the evening.

Strangely enough, the same thing happened last January, when we panned the Friday night shows of 14/48 only to love the same group of artists' offerings on Saturday. We wonder a lot about whether the day or time slot matters to the quality of the performances. I don't know that we have enough evidence to say. I suggested last year that it was a Friday the 13th thing. This year... New Moon?

Big props to Rawley, who nabbed the weekend's Mazen Award for his contribution to the spirit of risk taking and camaraderie embodied in the process (in addition to writing two nice scripts.) We really loved his Live! From the Last Night of My Life at Theater Schmeater last year, and look forward to the Schmee's production of his Attack of the Killer Murder... of Death later this year. We also have to add another rave for Megan Ahiers; as we waited in line folks were still talking about her two great performances from last weekend.

Mark your calendars for March 9, when 14/48 presents theater anonymous, in which none of the cast know any of the others until the night of the performance; for Kamikaze Weekend June 21 and 22, in which none of the participants know if they'll write, direct, act, design, or be a member of the band until  a random drawing; and for a seven-night 14/48 marathon Sept. 6-14, with seven plays every night (which we reckon makes it 63/168, which isn't as catchy a title for a theater festival.)

14/48 First Weekend, January 2013

It's almost time for the second weekend of January 2013 14/48, the world's quickest theater festival. So, we'd better write about the first weekend. 

Friday the 4th had a couple of highlights for us. The theme was "Back to Square One," and the opening play written by Maggie Lee and directed by Paul Budraitis, The White Queen, was a thrilling chess game. The always awesome Ben McFadden and David Brown-King battled as a knight and bishop on a giant chess board in a way that made me laugh with delight, even with my limited knowlege of chess. Carolyn Marie Monroe was a conniving queen and Lantz Wagner a vicious king in a game to the death. 

Expecting by Brendan Healy and dircted by Manuel Cawaling was a fun twist on the expectations we have about prospective parents, birth and adoptive. The bio parents, played trashy and sweet by Jason Harber and Libby Barnard, had their own way of testing the prospective adoptive couple's parenting skills—catching babies falling from the sky. Or dolls falling from the grid. Which is funny. Ok, you had to be there.

The Hulk (Trick Danneker) gets ready to make his move on
the dying 70-year-old virgin (Megan Ahiers) in Touch For
the Very First Time. 14/48 photo by Joe Iano.

Our favorite of the night was Touch for the Very First Time. Honestly, it's not just because I love everything I've ever seen that Matt Smith has written or Megan Ahiers has acted in. It was also directed by Jose Amador and the other actors were Chris Ensweiler, Trick Danneker, and Rebecca Shepherd. What a line up. This was an absolute delight. Ahier's aging character, stricken by cancer, announces to her friend that having sex is on her bucket list. And she wants it to be the first time for the guy too. So her friend figures, where can she find inexperienced men who can be persuaded to have sex with a dying 70-year-old virgin? Comic-Con! Of the two pals, it turns out "Spider Man" has tangled before; and Ensweiler's hilarious depiction of spidey sex is a sequence I can't quite forget. But "the Incredible Hulk" is taken with the woman he's been told by the quick-thinking friend is the first Bond girl—that's right, Ursula Andress—and the play ends on a touching note.

The theme for Saturday was "Over the Edge." We thought this was a strong night. The opener, In His Eyes, by Tina LaPlant and directed by Timothy Hyland, leaned a little too close to the theological for me, but the whiff of moralizing was cut with plenty of humor expressed by a farting nun, and Amanda Lee Williams, Libby Bernard, Carolyn Marie Monroe turned in redeeming performances. 

Jason Harber, left, and his ninja armadillo friend Chris
Ensweiler in 21 Run. 14/48 photo by Joe Iano.

21 Run was one we won't soon forget; by Matt Smith—who wrote two absolute gems this weekend—and directed by Paul Budraitis. The 14/48 gods were smiling when they hurled this weekend's Mazen award winner Jason Harber into the cast. He played a socially awkward guy alone on his 21st birthday to perfection. Chris Ensweiler, a superb actor we've often admired for his clown talents, got to clown it up as an imaginary friend/alter ego who's also an armadillo. And David Brown-King was terrific as the forgetful real-life friend. It would have been memorable—and scary—enough as a funny, goofy play about the inner life of guys. But Harber's character had just downed 21 shots in his solo birthday celebration, and the ninja armadillo was clowning around right next to our seats, and then the spotlight lit us up and I knew we were in trouble as Harber staggered straight for us and unloaded those shots. I felt a big gob smack against the side of my head. I think the Weisenheimer got the brunt of it. Turns out pink silly string is a rather good simulation for vomit! Everyone who came out to clean up at intermission was very concerned about us, kept asking if we were ok; we thought it was hilarious. 

Slice of Life by Eric Lane Barnes and directed by Manuel Cawaling was a terrific closer. They had a dream cast with the comedic chops to make this play sizzle. Ben McFadden, who owns every stage I've ever seen him on, killed as the knife-wielding, chain smoking, exasperated chef. Sarah Winsor as the  waitress was perfectly intimidated and infuriated by Megan Ahier's character, a bitch-on-wheels nightmare customer. Mark Boeker as her husband practically quivered with strained nerves trying to please his wife on her birthday and longing for some kindness. And Justin Huertas got the punch line as the busser who gives the horrible woman her comeuppance in the form of a gluten-free almond cake delivered directly to her pie hole, since the silverware was missing. And old gag but a satisfying one. 

And these are just the highlights; so many more brave performances, costumes, props, jokes, both nights. And as always, a big shout out to the fantastic 14/48 band who add so much to these plays.