Saturday, February 14, 2009

What I Really Think About Facebook

10 Things About Facebook*

1. Facebook is... like a huge party with everyone you know where nobody is talking to each other but about a quarter of the people randomly shout out things about themselves. In the third person.

2. Facebook is... a perfect way to stay “connected” to co-workers, friends, and family. And then ignore them.

3. Facebook is... like a rousing game of duck-duck-goose.

4. Facebook is... like a dysfunctional happy family.

5. Facebook is... like a bright, sunny, new dawn for similes. And adjectives.

6. Facebook is... leading to bad writing. (See #5.) (Also the hackneyed use of the present participle to make everything start with “facebook is” because The World’s Greatest Lover told me repetition can be funny.)

7. Facebook is... represented by the formula q = xy(a2-p2/4), also called Cynthia’s Constant, where given x friends from y parts of your life your status updates will be inappropriate, insensitive, indecipherable, or irrelevant to 80% of them.

8. Facebook is... giving me a nightmare where I’m at recess and everyone is tagging me and I’m constantly It and then my clothes come off from all the tagging and I’m at school naked and the teacher calls on me and says “Cynthia give an impromptu speech telling us 25 things about yourself” and then...Oh. Sorry. TMI.

9. Facebook is... an ontological wet dream.

10. Facebook is... fucking weird. But a hell of a lot better than Twitter.

*I couldn’t think of 25. And, really, aren’t you glad?

4 comments:

Lisa said...

Yeah, I couldn't think of 25 things either. But oddly enough, my dog could, and his Facebook page is infinitely more interesting than mine.

You may (or may not) know this about me, but I'm pretty shy....and the best part of Facebook for me is "friending" co-workers whom I see every day and have never met. We all smile at each other now, and share silly things.

Also, I've had friends from elementary school get in touch, and I haven't heard from them since I was 12. Kind of a reconnection to self and others in that sense.

I'm new to Twitter, and still haven't figured that out yet.

Sweetie the Official Scorer said...

Lisa, I totally understand about shyness. I resisted FB for the longest time because it felt like walking into a huge party, and I'm a total introvert! But it does have its advantages, and I think I'm quickly getting to the point where I couldn't do without it. I still like to poke fun at it, though!

Clarence Moriwaki said...

I have 25 random (and some possibly non-PC) thoughts about being request about 25 times to post my 25 random thoughts....

Becky said...

This is a great list - and pretty accurate, too. I especially liked number 1. Thanks for the laugh. I needed that today.