A goose egg for Dipoto, a gig for O'Brien

As we celebrate today because pitchers and catchers are reporting to Mariners camp, and as I'm in need of a vehicle for procrastination, I decided to make an addendum to my general managers article posted on Friday. I spent about 2,300 words explaining how I figured Pat Gillick was the best trader among M's general managers and Bill Bavasi was the worst. But I didn't rank Jerry Dipoto, current GM, because there just isn't enough data. As you will recall, or can go read, I rated trades for each GM based on future Wins Above Replacement gained and given for each swap. As Dipoto has been on the job for just over a year, most of his deals have yet to pencil out.

I decided I might as well dig up what data there is and see how he's doing so far. Interestingly enough, based on trades made before the end of the 2016 season, Dipoto's general manager trade value is exactly: ZERO. We logged eighteen trades Dipoto made between his hiring in September 2015 and the end of last season, and so far he's gotten back precisely as much WAR as he's given away.

Dipoto's best trade, so far, resulting in a gain of 2.1 WAR, is the deal that brought Leonys Martin to the club, along with Anthony Bass, for Tom Wilhelmsen, James Jones, and Patrick Kivlehan. His worst, at -2.2 WAR, was sending Brad Miller, Logan Morrison, and Danny Farquhar to Tampa Bay for Boog Powell, Nate Carns, and C.J. Riefenhauser. Oddly enough, Dipoto lost 1.6 WAR dealing Riefenhauser away, along with Mark Trumbo, for Steve Clevenger. While Trumbo had a modest 1.6 WAR, all we got out of Clevenger was 0 WAR and some racist tweets.

The Tampa deal illustrates why we didn't want to lump Dipoto in with the rest of the general managers yet. The ultimate value of the trade probably hinges on how much of a prospect Powell is. He hit .270 in 64 games at Tacoma last year before getting hit with an 80-game suspension for using performance enhancing drugs.

Similarly, the trade of Mike Montgomery and Jordan Pries for Dan Vogelbach and Paul Blackburn presently ranks as -0.7 WAR for the M's, as Montgomery delivered 0.4 WAR out of the Cubs bullpen while Vogelbach went 1-for-12 during a September call-up for -0.3. But Vogelbach has some potential; he hit 23 home runs and had an OPS of .923 playing for Iowa and Tacoma last summer. Also Vogelbach's nickname is "Vogey." What is wrong with the nicknamers these days? Well, at least he's not D-Vog, and I'm sorry for even putting that idea out there.

In rating the previous general managers, I declined to calculate the trades in which clearly minimal, if any, value had changed hands. I wonder what the future Weisenheimer doing this exercise with ten years of hindsight will think of most of these deals. Juan De Paula and Jio Orozco for Ben Gamel doesn't seem particularly exciting, but if Gamel is the next Mike Trout, or even the next Bruce Bochte, that's probably a plus for the M's.

Dan O'Brien, Jr.

Dan O'Brien ranked number seven of eight Mariner general managers with a trading WAR of -32.9. He passed away last month at the age of 87. His son, Dan O'Brien, Jr., has just landed a gig with Minor League Baseball. According to a report on Ballpark Digest, O’Brien has been hired to serve as a senior executive advisor to MiLB president & CEO Pat O’Conner. This will be the junior O'Brien's 40th season in professional baseball. He was an advisor to the Royals last year and worked for the Brewers as a special assistant for ten years before that. He got his start working in sales and marketing for the M's back in the dark ages.

Bad trades: Rating Mariner general managers

Bad trades are part of baseball. I've made several recent posts about bad trades, and have threatened to do an analysis to determine which Mariners general manager had the worst trading record. Which one do you think was the worst trader? Keep your answer in mind; I’m about to give mine!

First, a little about the methodology. Say what you will about Wins Above Replacement (WAR), it is an easy, one-number representation of a player’s overall value. So in rating trades, I simply compared the future WAR given up to the future WAR received. It’s a hindsight-is-nearly-20-20 way of looking at the swap. For those not familiar with the concept, a player who reaches 2 WAR in a season is a decent starting player, a WAR of 5+ is an all-star type year, and a player with 8 or more WAR would be in the running for MVP. I used WAR as listed by Baseball-Reference.com. It is explained fully on the site.

In rating the general managers, I have not included all trades, mostly because I didn’t want to spend a lot of time in analysis of swaps such as Steve Delabar for Eric Thames. (Jack Zduriencik lost on that deal, getting -0.1 WAR of Thames for 0.3 of Delabar, a -0.4 WAR swap.) We didn’t consider whether either team actually kept the player, just the total future WAR involved in the trade. We didn’t rate Jerry DiPoto because there’s not yet enough data on his deals. In fact Zduriencik’s data isn’t complete, either; Thames just signed a three-year contract with the Brewers after putting up some good power numbers in Korea for four years. Finally, we don’t include WAR from drafts or signings, though we will make note of some in the narrative. We're just talking trades.

Thus, from best to worst, we rate Seattle Mariner general managers on their trading acumen:

1. Pat Gillick, 2000-2003. GM trade value: 42.7

It figured that Gillick would sit in this spot, though he was the M’s GM for just four years. He held the chair during the amazing 106-win season in 2001 and, while many key pieces of that club were in place when he took over, Gillick made important signings of folks like Bret Boone, John Olerud, and David Bell, all of which were positive.

Gillick made only three significant trades, and two of them worked out OK. Sort of. It was Gillick’s task to trade Ken Griffey, Jr., and he got good return. As we wrote in a previous article, Mike Cameron was by far the better player in the coming years, and the trade amounted to a net gain in WAR of 29.1 for Seattle.

The other good trade for Gillick was the acquisition of Randy Winn for Antonio Perez, a gain of 19.5* WAR. It’s marked with an asterisk, though, because manager Lou Piniella was sort of a part of the deal, and the M’s haven’t done much since Sweet Lou and Gillick departed the scene.

I rated Piniella with my facetious “genius managing factor,” which is essentially a comparison of expected pythagorean wins against actual team victories that attributes the difference to good (or bad) managing. In Piniella's seven years with the Rays and then the Cubs, he had a GMF of -4.

Gillick also signed Ichiro and Felix Hernandez and drafted Adam Jones. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 2011.

2. Lou Gorman, 1977-1980. GM trade value: 31.8

It’s probably a bit of a surprise to see the M’s first general manager so high on the list. Think about it, though—the expansion Mariners had so few players of value that it was hard to make a bad trade!

Most of Gorman’s WAR gains are the result of the selection of veteran lefty reliever Grant Jackson in the expansion draft. Since a veteran lefty reliever is of dubious value to a crummy expansion team, Gorman dealt Jackson to the Pirates for Craig Reynolds and Jimmy Sexton, for a gain of 10.2 WAR. Reynolds was the regular shortstop for two years until Gorman dealt him to Houston for Floyd Bannister, a gain of 16.5 WAR. Thus, Gorman squeezed 26.7 WAR out of Jackson. He also came out ahead on a deal that sent the “Rapid City Rabbit,” Dave Collins, to the Reds for southpaw hurler Shane Rawley. He even got a small positive return for dealing the franchise’s first favorite, Ruppert Jones, to the Yankees for Jim Beattie. I still sing “Rupe, Rupe, Rupe for the Mariners” during Take Me Out to the Ballgame.

Gorman died in 2011.

3. Woody Woodward, 1989-1999. GM trade value: 25

OK, how many of you immediately had Woodward pop into your heads when I suggested that you think about which M’s GM you thought was the worst trader? I thought so. I did, too. Here’s what happened.

Woodward made what is by far the best trade in Mariner history when he shipped Mark Langston and Mike Campbell to Montreal for Brian Holman, Gene Harris, and a wild kid who was 55 2/3 innings into what became a Hall of Fame career. Randy Johnson was worth 104.4 future WAR, and Woodward came out 92.9 WAR ahead on the deal.

Since he had only 25 WAR to the good by the end of his long tenure with the M’s, Woodward gave most of it back.

He also made the two worst trades in club history: The disastrous swap of Jason Varitek AND Derek Lowe for Heathcliff Slocumb (-56.5 WAR) and the deal of David Ortiz to Minnesota for Dave Hollins (-52.2). I almost gave Woodward a pass on the Ortiz deal, but a trade is a trade. Even so, the Twins had Ortiz for six years and were so impressed with him that they simply released him after the 2002 season. Ortiz signed with Boston and became a Fenway-aided monster.

Woodward made some nice deals, too. The swap of Darren Bragg for Jamie Moyer was a gain of 32.2 WAR. Even when forced to trade Johnson he came out 4.3 WAR ahead on the deal. But he made a few other clinkers, too, such as the puzzling deal of Tino Martinez, Jeff Nelson, and Jim Mecir to the Yankees for Sterling Hitchcock and Russ Davis (-31.5); and the Omar Vizquel deal I wrote about last month (-31.7).

So it was feast or famine with Woodward on the trade market. In other moves, he hired Piniella and drafted Varitek, Boone, and Alex Rodriguez.

4. Jack Zduriencik, 2009-2015. GM trade value: 11.1

“Trader Jack” came in and almost immediately pulled off an eleven-player deal, the principals of which were J.J. Putz, Luis Valbuena, Jason Vargas, and Franklin Gutierrez. The deal gained Zduriencik 13.2 WAR, and he spent the rest of his tenure losing 2.1.

We learned a lot about Zduriencik from his two deals involving Cliff Lee. In trading Tyson Gillies, Phillippe Aumont, and J.C. Ramirez to the Phillies for Lee in December 2009, he came out 27.5 WAR ahead, as the players he gave away were worth less than zero. Aumont was the M’s first-round draft pick in 2007; in parts of four seasons with the Phils he pitched in 46 games, all but one in relief, and recorded a career ERA of 6.80. The M’s used 3.4 of Lee’s WAR during the 2010 season before dealing him to Texas in July, along with Mark Lowe, for Justin Smoak, Blake Beavan, and Josh Leuke. It was a -20.5 WAR deal, but in the Lee dealings Jack came out ahead by seven because he got to use some of Lee, and Smoak and Beavan had some minor value.

My next study may be a look at deals made to get “something” for the guy who is about to become a free agent. The best idea may well be to hold on and get a good couple of months from the player who is going to walk, rather than collecting three shiny pennies for your dull old quarter.

There were a number of times Zduriencik made a good move, only to later give away his gains. He earned 6.2 WAR trading Michael Saunders for J.A. Happ, then lost 4.5 trading Happ for Adrian Sampson. He got John Jaso for Lueke (+8.6) but then dealt Jaso for Mike Morse (-5.6).

5. Hal Keller, 1984-1985. GM trade value: 1.4

Keller was the club’s general manager for two seasons and made just one trade of note, dealing Tony Bernazard for Jack Perconte and Gorman Thomas. Thomas was about done, but Perconte had a couple of nice, productive seasons for the M’s. Sitting on your hands can be a good approach for a GM!

Keller passed away in 2012. His brother was Charlie Keller, a slugging outfielder for the Yankees during the 1940s. Hal caught a couple of dozen games for the Washington Senators between 1949 and 1952.

6. Dick Balderson, 1986-1988. GM trade value: -6.8

Balderson ran the club for three seasons and made one horrible trade, another bad one, and a couple of good ones. The bomb was the inexplicable 1986 swap of Dave Henderson and Spike Owen to Boston for Rey Quinones, Mike Brown, Mike Trujillo, and John Christensen—a loss of 29.7 WAR. The other clinker was his trade of Danny Tartabull and Rick Luecken to the Royals for Scott Bankhead, Mike Kingery, and Steve Shields (-10).

He came out ahead in the deal of Phil Bradley and Tim Fortugno to Philadelphia for Dave Brundage, Mike Jackson, and Glenn Wilson, +14.2 mostly thanks to a long and useful career by the reliever Jackson.

Then came Balderson’s best trade and the only Mariner trade I know of to make it into sitcom lore: the swap of Ken Phelps to the Yankees for Jay Buhner, Rick Balabon, and Troy Evers. This one was a gain of 22.8 WAR and brought Balderson much closer to the break-even point as a trader. Alas, he was sacked about a week after making his best deal ever, and replaced by Woodward.

Balderson also drafted Ken Griffey, Jr.

7. Dan O'Brien, 1981-1983. GM trade value: -32.9

O’Brien, Seattle’s second-worst trader ever, was the club's second GM and gets his low rating on the basis of just two deals that did not go well. Worst was his swap of Bud Black, a decent hurler and future manager who pitched one inning for the Mariners, for Manny Castillo, a -2.2 WAR guy who made it a -22.3 deal. The other was a five-for-six swap that essentially boiled down to Rick Honeycutt for Richie Zisk and Jerry Don Gleaton (-10.5). Zisk was probably the first of many disappointments brought in to add some power to the lineup. Honeycutt had a long career as a pitcher and has been the pitching coach for the Dodgers for a decade or so. I wonder if he’s taught Clayton Kershaw anything about the use of thumbtacks. Gleaton, a ginger-headed southpaw nicknamed “Flamin’ Red” by M’s broadcaster Dave Niehaus, was once the post-game interview subject some years after leaving Seattle. Asked about his his continuing career, Gleaton observed, “When you’re a lefty, they want you even if you suck.”

O’Brien, who passed away last month at age 87, signed Edgar Martinez.

8. Bill Bavasi, 2004-2008. GM trade value: -155.8

Probably most of you who didn’t guess Woodward as the team’s worst trader ever picked Bavasi. You were right, and it’s not even close. In five years Bavasi made nine major trades and every single one of them returned negative WAR. Most of them turned in double-figures negative WAR.

His crowning achievement is the stunningly awful trade for southpaw pitcher Erik Bedard, for whom Bavasi surrendered Adam Jones, George Sherrill, Chris Tillman, Tony Butler, and Cam Mickolio. Total WAR: -39.7. Bavasi has been gone from the M’s for nine seasons, and this trade is still getting worse. Jones is now 31 years old and just had his lowest-WAR season (1.1) since having a cup of coffee with the Mariners. It doesn’t seem unreasonable to expect that he could add at least another 10 WAR over the next 4-5 years. Tillman is about to turn 29 and has averaged 2.9 WAR over the last four seasons. If he does that again it’s another 12 WAR. Another 22 WAR makes this one -61.7, and that would be the worst deal in club history.

Other terrible Bavasi trades: Shin-Soo Choo and Shawn Nottingham for Ben Broussard (-31.4). Asdrubal Cabrera for Eduardo Perez (-25.8). Matt Thornton for Joe Borchard (-14.2). Heck, Bavasi’s “best” trade was the one dealing the 43-year-old Moyer to the Phillies for Andrew Baldwin and Andy Barb. This was only -4.8 WAR as Moyer went on to win 58 more games in the bigs, while Baldwin and Barb were career minor leaguers. It's tough to trade a guy who is over 40 and still come out on the short end.

Bavasi’s best moves were free agent signings of Richie Sexson, Kenji Johjima, and Adrian Beltre. While all three are considered busts by many, Sexson and Johjima made modest contributions in Seattle. In Seattle Beltre never reached the sort of gaudy numbers he'd put up while with the Dodgers, but he did account for 21.3 WAR in five seasons with the M’s, and 66.9 in all since the signing. We're starting to hear talk of his Hall of Fame credentials; he just re-upped with Texas for two years and needs 58 hits to get to 3,000 and 55 home runs to get to 500.

Bavasi was far and away the worst trader among former Mariner general managers. He took over a club that had won 91 or more games in each of the previous four seasons and immediately won 63. While they finished above .500 once during his tenure, by his final season the M’s lost 101 games.

To recap:

WAR from trades by Seattle general managers

Gillick: 42.7
Gorman: 31.8
Woodward: 25
Zduriencik: 11.1
Keller: 1.4
Balderson: -6.8
O'Brien: -32.9
Bavasi: -155.8

Tacoma Rainiers 13, Albuquerque Isotopes 1

Tacoma starter Adrian Sampson pitched six innings of one-hit ball and the Rainiers scored four runs in the first and never looked back in a 13-1 rout of the Albuquerque Isotopes on a sunny afternoon Sunday at Cheney Stadium in Tacoma.

Sampson, a local prospect who attended Skyline High School and Bellevue College and was a fifth-round draft pick by the Pirates in 2012, hit a batter, walked two, and struck out two while throwing 82 pitches during his start Sunday. We'd suggest that the Mariner organization ask its starters to work a little longer to avoid future gaffes such as the untimely removal of Felix Hernandez from his start against Oakland on Sunday.

Offensively the Rainiers got off to a quick start. Centerfielder Herschel Mack "Boog" Powell led off the game with a leg double to center, a hot grounder that skittered off the glove of Albuquerque second-sacker Joey Wong. Shortstop Chris Taylor followed with a walk, and designated hitter Efren Navarro singled to plate Powell and make it 1-0. After first baseman Stefen Romero bounced into a fielder's choice, catcher Mike Zunino singled to score Taylor. One out later third baseman Ed Lucas lined a double into the left field corner to score a pair and it was 4-0.

Tacoma scored two more on four singles in the second, Romero blasted a homer with Taylor aboard in the fourth, and the Rainiers completed their day's scoring with a five-spot in the fifth, helped along by a couple of Isotope miscues.

Tacoma won three of four in the series that opened the Pacific Coast League season.

Your bus ticket to Hartford is ready

Albuquerque starter Shane Carle heads for the showers after
getting the hook in the fifth inning against Tacoma Sunday,
while his mates discuss how they plan to come back from a
10-0 deficit. They didn't; the Rainiers won 13-1. Photo:
Greg Scheiderer.

Albuquerque starter Shane Carle, a former tenth-round draft pick out of Long Beach State, served up the tasty meal of meatballs for Tacoma hitters. Carle's line: 12 runs, 11 earned, on 12 hits in four-plus innings. He struck out three, walked three, and hit a batter. For his next start they'll list his ERA as 24.75 and opponents' batting average against him as a robust .522. Isotope manager Glenallen Hill was probably correct, if somewhat tardy, in removing his starter with no outs in the fifth. Carle was a respectable 14-7 with an ERA of 3.48 for AA New Britain last year. He may be headed back to AA if he doesn't get his ERA down below two dozen.

Every Tacoma starter had at least one hit, Powell leading the way with three hits and three runs scored. Romero had two hits and four RBI, and Taylor and right fielder Daniel Robertson had two hits each. Lucas was kept busy at the hot corner, logging six assists on the afternoon. Zunino was robbed of an RBI and saddled with an extra at-bat thanks to some poor baserunning in the second inning. He hit a booming fly ball to center with runners at the corners and one out. Taylor tagged at third and trotted plateward, expecting to score easily. However Romero inexplicably tagged at first and headed to second, where he was thrown out by Albuquerque center fielder Michael Tauchman and tagged before Taylor touched home.

Box score.

In search of perfection

My sweetie, the official scorer, and I have seen probably hundreds of games together by now and have never witnessed a no-hitter. We remind ourselves of this each game. At brunch at Mioposto Pizzeria before heading to Tacoma Sunday, our server, Mariel, noted us clad in our baseball jerseys (Sweetie wearing Edgar Martinez/M's, Greg wearing Rogers Hornsby/'51 Rainiers) and correctly deduced we were headed to a ballgame. Mariel said she'd only been to one game ever: Felix Hernandez's perfect game in 2012. Dammit.

Is something Wong?

Cardinals second baseman Kolten Wong has a brother in the minors, but is not, so near as we can tell, related to Albuquerque's Joey Wong. Still, we think St. Louis should trade their ace starter to the Rockies for Joey just to find out if two Wongs make a Wainwright.

Bad trades are part of baseball

Annie Savoy knows whereof she speaks.

“Bad trades are part of baseball,” says the Susan Sarandon character in the opening sequence of the 1988 film Bull Durham. “Who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas for God’s sake?”

I got to thinking about bad trades as I was preparing the previous post about Nelson Cruz and researching the dubious deals made by the Mariners over the years. (Man, do I love BaseballReference.com!) Quite a few other masochists have considered this subject and posted their lists of the team’s terrible trades. Just about all of these lists include Woody Woodward’s swap of Randy Johnson to the Astros at the trading deadline in 1998, and Pat Gillick’s shipping of Ken Griffey, Jr. to the Reds in February of 2000.

I say hold on a second.

Randy Johnson

Johnson had a sour relationship with the club and was going to become a free agent at the end of the ’98 season. He was 34, there were concerns about his back, and he was putting up un-Big Unit type numbers (9-10, 4.33) in Seattle before the trade. Johnson was brilliant for the Astros (10-1, 1.28) after the deal, signed as a free agent with Arizona that offseason, and promptly won four straight National League Cy Young Awards. It would have been tough to get equal value back for that.

Garcia

Yet Woodward did all right, getting Freddy Garcia, Carlos Guillen, and John Halama in exchange for Johnson.

Garcia and Jamie Moyer were the aces of the staff for the 116-win club in 2001, the former going 18-6 with an ERA of 3.05. The Chief had five pretty good seasons for the M’s, amassing a record of 76-50. In mid-2004 Bill Bavasi traded Garcia and Ben Davis to the White Sox for Mike Morse, Miguel Olivo, and Jeremy Reed. Garcia wound up with 156 wins and a 4.15 ERA in 15 seasons.

Guillen spent a couple of years as the regular shortstop in Seattle, then became an All Star after being traded by Bavasi to the Tigers in ’04 for Juan Gonzalez (sadly, not the slugging one) and Ramon Santiago.

Halama was a journeyman who went 56-48 with an ERA of 4.65 over nine years.

Comparing the players by Wins Above Replacement (WAR), Johnson piled up a handsome 39.8 in the five years following the trade. Garcia did OK at 15.6 during that same span. Guillen was 15.1 WAR in his first five seasons as a regular and racked up career WAR of 27.7. Halama is practically the definition of replacement level; though he chalked up 4.7 WAR in his first season in Seattle, his career total was only 5.6. Woodward managed to get decent value out of a situation in which he had little choice but to make a deal.

Trading Junior

Gillick’s situation with Griffey was similar. The Kid wanted out of Seattle, wanted to play closer to home. With the gun to his head, Gillick got Mike Cameron, Brett Tomko, Antonio Perez, and Jake Meyer for the future Hall of Famer. It’s hard to see how anyone calls this a bad trade.

Cameron

Griffey had only two really good seasons during his injury-plagued years with the Reds. His total WAR from 2000-04 was 8.5. Cameron in those same years racked up 19.8 WAR, including 18.3 in four years with the M’s. He was a far better player than Griffey over that span.

Tomko is essentially Halama. In fact, he had the same career ERA of 4.65, and went 100-103 over 14 seasons. Meyer never made the show. Perez was a utility infielder for four years with the Rays, Dodgers, and A’s.

The one interesting note about Perez is that in October of 2002 he was traded, along with manager Lou Piniella, to Tampa Bay for Randy Winn, who had a couple of nice years for the M’s, and he, Cameron, and Ichiro were a beautiful outfield to watch. Winn was dealt by Bavasi to the Giants in a deadline deal in 2005 for the legends Jesse Foppert and Yorvit Torrealba.

Winn was a useful player, but the deal that brought him to Seattle may actually be the worst in club history. The Mariners have had only four winning seasons and have not made the playoffs since Piniella’s departure.

The real worst trade

The Griffey deal does not belong on a list of bad trades. Seattle got the short end of the Johnson deal but did OK under the circumstances. What’s the real worst trade?

Slocumb

Whenever my Sweetie, the official scorer, and I talk about bad trades one of us usually says, in Annie Savoy accent, “Who can forget Jason Varitek AND Derek Lowe for Heathcliff Slocumb, for God’s sake?” Slocumb notched 10 saves in 11 opportunities down the stretch in 1997 for the M’s team that won the A.L. West, but wasn’t actually very good. He saved just three and had an ERA of 5.32 the following season. His career WAR was 5.6 in 10 seasons.

Varitek, on the other hand, was a switch-hitting catcher with power—he was Crash Davis!—and piled up 24.3 WAR in a 15-year career. Lowe pitched 17 seasons and was 33 WAR. That was a lousy trade.

I thought of it again last year when the M’s shipped Fernando Rodney to the Cubs. I figured that if Woodward had been the general manager in Chicago we could have gotten Anthony Rizzo and Jake Arrieta for this “proven closer.”

What may eventually be acclaimed as the M’s worst trade ever is the February 2008 deal in which Bavasi sent young slugger Adam Jones to Baltimore for the great Erik Bedard. Bedard’s career WAR was 17.3, but only 4.3 of that came after the trade. Jones has already piled up 27.5 WAR with the Orioles. Who needs a gold-glove center fielder with a great bat, anyway? Oh, and by the way, we also gave Baltimore FOUR OTHER GUYS in the deal. Chris Tillman has developed into a solid starting pitcher, George Sherrill was a useful left-handed reliever, Kam Mickolio pitched in 29 games in the bigs, and southpaw Tony Butler was a career minor leaguer. Word at the time was that Bavasi needed to win or he'd be sacked. In this, at least, he was correct. He was fired June 16 with the team already 17 1/2 games out and in dead last. Bedard, alas, didn't help turn things around.

Some folks list the Mariners' 1996 swap of David Ortiz to the Twins for Dave Hollins among the worst ever. It didn't turn out well, but I give Woodward a pass on this one. Ortiz was 21 at the time of the deal. He was 17 when they signed him out of the Dominican Republic, and had knocked around the M's system for three years before the trade. In parts of six seasons with the Twins he amassed just 2.5 WAR. A free agent after the 2002 season, he signed with Boston, hit 31 homers in 2003, and was off to the races. But it was seven years later, and there was really no sign that Ortiz would blossom into a Hall of Fame contender. The hell of it is that this trade was a case of the Twins trying to get something, anything, for a guy who was going to be a free agent. Hollins played just 28 games for the Mariners and signed with the Angels for 1997.

One good trade

This post makes it sound as though the Mariners have never made a good trade. On the contrary, they made what is possibly the best trade in baseball history, at least as judged by television situation comedies, swapping designated hitter Ken Phelps to the Yankees on July 21, 1988 for a young outfielder by the name of Jay Buhner. The deal was so bad for the Yankees it was ridiculed on an episode of Seinfeld.


Ironically, less than a week after making the best swap in franchise history, general manager Dick Balderson was fired by the Mariners. Manager Dick Williams had been sacked earlier in the season, and the club was in last place and 20 games out. And thus began the Woodward era.

Bavasi or Woodward?

The names of Bill Bavasi and Woody Woodward are all over the bad trades list. They had some successes.

Woodward hired Piniella, drafted Alex Rodriguez, and dealt outfielder Darren Bragg to Boston in 1998 for Moyer. Many folks thought that was dumb at the time. Bragg was a speedy young spark plug and Moyer a 34-year-old soft-tossing lefty. Moyer pitched for the M's for parts of 11 seasons and won 145 games, which is tops on the team's all-time list, though Felix Hernandez will likely pass him in about a month. In August of 2006 we made the same mistake Boston did, trading too-old Moyer at age 43 to the Phillies for essentially nothing. He kept going until he was 49 and won 58 more games. (As a total aside, it may tell you something about the Mariners' mostly sad history as a franchise that the list of its ten winningest pitchers includes Joel Piñero and Gil Meche.)

But Woodward made some other lulus, too. July 31, 1997 may go down as the darkest day in M's history. On the same day as the Slocumb trade, Woodward moved young outfielder José Cruz, Jr. to Toronto for Paul Spoljaric and Mike "Two Run" Timlin, so named because two runs came in whenever he pitched. Nothing like trading a slugging outfielder for some bullpen "help." Maybe Woodward didn't have a good breakfast or enough coffee that day. He also engineered the disastrous 1995 trade of Tino Martinez and Jeff Nelson to New York for the completely mediocre Russ Davis and Sterling Hitchcock.

Bavasi's successes aren't so obvious. His best moves may have been the signings of Adrian Beltre and Richie Sexson. While his stats were deflated by Safeco Field, Beltre was a fine player for Seattle. Sexson is generally regarded as a bust, but he had two relatively productive years before falling off in his final season with the M's. In addition to the above moves, Bavasi's 2006 swap of Shin-Soo Choo for Ben Broussard goes down as a bust.

Perhaps one day we will do an analysis to figure out which former GM lost the most WAR in trades.

Beware, ye who would trade for a pitching ace

The notion of going out and getting a good pitcher is what often leads to trouble. Savoy’s favorite trade was a slugger for a hurler; Pappas had reached double figures in victories for eight straight seasons before being traded for Robinson in 1965. He did it eight more times after the deal and won 209 games in his career. Robinson immediately had an MVP season for the Reds and hit 254 of his 586 career home runs after the swap.

Broglio. Who else cut out these
baseball cards from the backs of
cereal boxes?

As a Cardinals fan, I am forever thankful to the Cubs for their trade of Lou Brock for Ernie Broglio. It must have made sense at the time. Broglio had won 18 for St. Louis in 1963, while Brock was 25 and in his third season as a regular and batting about .260 when the deal was made. Broglio went 7-19 in two-and-a-half seasons in Chicago, and then was out of the game. Brock made the Hall of Fame. There were four other guys in the deal. You’re more of a baseball nut than I if you can tell me anything about Jack Spring, Paul Toth, and Doug Clemens. Bobby Shantz was also part of the swap, hanging on as a mop-up reliever at the end of his 16-year career.

Other notorious bad trades involving pitchers include John Smoltz for Doyle Alexander, Jeff Bagwell for Larry Andersen, Steve Carlton for Rick Wise, Pedro Martinez for Delino DeShields (the elder; Delino Jr. was one year old at the time of the deal), and Christy Matthewson for Amos Rusie.

Naturally, we benefit from hindsight as we look back at how these trades came out. But who besides Woody Woodward didn't realize that the Slocumb deal was a big mistake.

Now, what will you give us for proven closer Joaquin Benoit?

Get 'em on, get 'em over, get 'em in

The onset of baseball’s spring training has caused painful memories to emerge that I had managed to repress since October. Memories of a Seattle Mariners team with a dismal .311 on-base percentage that still managed to hit into 123 double plays. Memories of a club that was already six games off the pace and effectively out of the AL West race by May 1. Memories of a disappointing club that got the manager, Mr. Lloyd McClendon, and GM Jack Zduriencik sacked.

Nelson Cruz was more successful in 2015 than most players
the Mariners have brought in to add a little pop to the lineup.
Yet though he hit 44 home runs and batted .302, he drove in
just 93 runs. It turns out that hitting over .300 with at least 40
homers and fewer than 100 RBI is pretty rare, and it happened
twice last year. Photo: Keith Allison/Wikimedia Commons. 

Even the seasonal bright spot had an odd disappointment. Nelson Cruz was the slugger brought in to add some pop to the club’s anemic lineup. Seasoned Mariner watchers, understandably pessimistic about whatever move the club makes, expected the usual flop, ala Kevin Mitchell, Richie Zisk, Gorman Thomas, or Jeff Cirillo, to name just a few of the duds who suddenly lost their mojo upon arrival in Sodo. Boomstick broke the mold, cracking 44 home runs and hitting .302 on the season. Despite this, Cruz drove in only 93 runs, and 44 of them were his own self, so Cruz sent just 49 teammates plate-ward on the season.

Later I noticed that National League Most Valuable Player Bryce Harper hit .322 with 42 home runs and just 99 ribbies. Arbitrary cutoffs are what baseball is all about, so I got to wondering how many other players have hit over .300 with 40 or more home runs and fewer than 100 RBI. Today I did the research. The list is surprisingly short. Though there were two such occurrences in 2015, there have been only five others in the history of the game, and all of them have been by big-name players, including the game's two most prolific sluggers. Which now seems obvious, since inclusion on the list means you hit .300 with 40 taters.

The last time it happened was in 2003, when Barry Bonds smacked 45 homers while batting .341 that year, yet had only 90 RBI. Bonds played in 130 games in '03 and had 550 plate appearances. His chances to drive in runs were reduced somewhat by 148 walks, 61 of which were intentional.

Before that you have to go back to 1994, when Ken Griffey, Jr. hit .323 and clubbed 40 round-trippers but drove in just 90 runs. This particular occurrence deserves a bit of an asterisk, though, as the season was cut short by a strike. Junior played in just 111 games and had 493 plate appearances. Had the season progressed to its typical 162 games he might well have approached 60 dingers and gotten the ten more ribbies he needed to avoid this list.

Baseball’s one-time home run king made the list twice. Henry Aaron batted .300 and hit 44 home runs while driving in just 97 runs in 1969, and he went .301-40-96 in 1973, both with the Atlanta Braves. Aaron played just 120 games in ’73 when he was 39 years of age. In ’69 he played 147 games and led the National League in total bases.

The first player to ever hit over .300 with at least 40 home runs and not drive home 100 or more runs was the Commerce Comet, Mickey Mantle, back in 1958. Mantle hit 42 homers that year and batted .304, but had just 97 RBI.

There was quite a bit of “missed it by that much” as I did the research for this list. For example, there was almost a third member just last season, when near-MVP Mike Trout hit 41 home runs and drove in 90, but hit “only” .299. But a cutoff is a cutoff (something many Mariner outfielders seem to know nothing about, but that’s for another article.) In fact it is fairly unusual for players to hit 40 home runs and not reach 100 RBI, regardless of batting average. Adam Dunn may be the poster child on either side of this; he hit 40 or more dingers six times and drove in at least 100 runs in four of those seasons, never hitting above .266.

There's long been a debate about whether "clutch" hitting exists. I don't believe that it does, and for Cruz, it is easy to find a reason that he logged fewer RBI than most guys with his sort of numbers amass. Austin Jackson and his .302 on-base percentage batted first or second 75 times for the Mariners last season. Logan Morrison (.302) led off 20 times. Even Rickie Weeks batted at the top of the order occasionally against left-handed pitching until his .263 OBP (and numerous other shortcomings) led to his release. Seth Smith, though not a prototype leadoff man, batted first or second 40 times and had a .330 OBP. Smith was actually McClendon’s best choice for the top of the order until Ketel Marte arrived at the end of July and put up a respectable .351 OBP for the rest of the season. In August and September McClendon pretty much settled on Marte in the leadoff spot and Kyle Seager at number two, though Seager's OBP of .328 isn’t all that great, either.

Cruz wasn't denied many RBI chances because of the intentional walk, even though he was the team's most productive hitter. He walked 59 times last season, just nine of them intentional. And he didn't fold under the pressure of batting with runners in scoring position; he hit .291 in that situation, just a tick below his overall season numbers. There just weren't that many guys on base for him, and the team didn't have anyone who was really good at getting to first base. Cruz himself was the club OBP leader at .369; maybe HE should have been leading off.

It seems that the Mariners as an organization have had a “walking is for sissies” philosophy in recent years. Swing the bat, be aggressive, they would preach. There must have been a zillion times last season when an M’s hitter would be battling a 1-2 count with several foul balls, and the pitch tracker (if you believe that's not just an intern in the back room putting a dot on a box) would show the pitcher hadn’t yet thrown a strike. One hopes that the hiring of Edgar Martinez (career OBP: .418) as hitting coach means that this approach has been rightly scrapped, and that Edgar can convince these guys to work the count a little, take an occasional walk, and rip the good pitches.

So let’s get some guys on base, set the table for the boppers, and watch Cruz morph into Ben Broussard.

The untimely second death of Dave Henderson

I was sad to see that Dave "Hendu" Henderson passed away from a massive heart attack this morning at age 57. According to The Seattle Times Hendu had been suffering from kidney problems for several years and had a transplant earlier this year.

Hendu was the first-ever draft pick of the Seattle Mariners, but gained most of his playing fame through playoff heroics with the Red Sox and Athletics. He later returned to Seattle and was a commentator on M's broadcasts for a number of years. I thought he was terrible at first, but eventually it seemed he may have had some coaching, slowed down his delivery a little, and made some good contributions to the games.

The ashes of a 1985 season Dave Henderson APBA card, and
photo of my stadium where the dice were not kind to him.

Hendu actually "died" for the first time back in 1986. He was on my team in an APBA league and was playing dismally; the dice were not kind to him. Hendu had hit .241 with 14 home runs during the 1985 major league season, but the following year in APBA he was batting just .188 with no dingers and just four RBI in 27 games. The real-life Hendu often lost the grip on his bat after a strikeout, and it would go pinwheeling out onto the field or into the stands. I had a number of the 13s on his card circled, designated to be lost-bat Ks, for added realism in the game.

After another agonizing whiff in a key situation, I lost patience, took Hendu's card out to the Hibachi and torched it, then cooked up a tale about his death in a fiery auto accident. I still have his ashes, which were on display in my dice "Big A" stadium for the rest of the season. My Angels won their division that year, going 54-26 behind Ron Guidry (12-3, 2.25) and Tommy Herr, who hit .344. Despite Hendu's disappearance, I had plenty of Henderson on the club, which also included Rickey and Steve.

Hendu's APBA death later turned out to be a ruse; it turned out fans of the team had kidnapped him after a loss in Cleveland, and released him after the season was over. He was soon traded. The authorities are still trying to figure out whose remains were found in that rental car in Cleveland.

It is perhaps testament to APBA mania that I still have the charred remains of a Dave Henderson card that I burned in a fit of pique 29 years ago, and that I still have and could find my team's final stats from that season. I retired from that league after 1991; it is still running, though, and has been continuously since about 1969. They switched to Diamond Mind baseball some years ago.

Rest in peace, Mr. Henderson.

Tacoma Rainiers 2, El Paso Chihuahuas 0

Justin Germano pitched a complete-game, seven-hit shutout and Patrick Kivlehan hit a two-run homer with two out in the bottom of the ninth as the Tacoma Rainiers defeated El Paso 2-0 June 28 at Cheney Stadium. The game was certified as a dandy by my Sweetie, the official scorer, as it featured fewer than five runs scored total, a victory margin of less than three, and no errors.

Justin Germano

Germano was masterful, if not overpowering, in going the distance on a warm but cloudy summer afternoon. He struck out five and did not walk a soul. The one weakness in his game was the leadoff double, which he surrendered in three different innings, but only once were the Chihuahuas able to advance the runner beyond the keystone sack, and that was in the sixth inning when they squandered what turned out to be their best chance to score against Germano.

El Paso second sacker Rocky Gale led off the top of the sixth with a two-bagger against Germano and moved to third on Abraham Almonte's fly ball to center field. That brought up Chihuahua shortstop Mike McCoy, who lofted a fly ball to Kivlehan in medium-deep left field. Gale tagged and headed for the plate; Kivlehan's throw was high, and Tacoma backstop John Hicks had to go up the ladder a bit to get it. Gale, however, inexplicably decided not to slide, and Hicks tagged him for the final out of the frame as he attempted to cross the dish standing. The score remained tied at 0-0.

Jason Lane, a former big-league outfielder now trying to stick as a pitcher at age 38, was the hard-luck starter for El Paso. The southpaw Lane went 7 2/3 innings and allowed no runs on seven hits, struck out two and walked just one. Tacoma's only real threat in the first seven innings came in the fifth, when Kivlehan and Zach Shank, a second baseman recently called up from Double-A Jackson after an injury to Leury Bonilla, stroked back-to-back singles to put runners on the corners with two out. Rainier shortstop Chris Taylor grounded to short to end the inning.

Tacoma chased Lane in the bottom of the eighth. Taylor singled with one out and, after a flyout by Shawn "Oh, Really? No" O'Malley, Rainier first baseman Jesus Montero grounded a single through the hole at short. That brought up Justin Ruggiano, Tacoma designated hitter who, in an apparent message to Mariner management about his recent demotion from the big club, had hit three home runs and driven home seven the night before. El Paso manager Jamie Quirk came out with the hook and brought in righty Jerry Sullivan to face Ruggiano. The strategy worked for the moment, as Ruggiano whiffed.

The Chihuahuas put Germano into a little hot water in the ninth. Gale led off with an infield single, as Taylor and O'Malley nearly collided as they tried to field his chopper; Taylor grabbed it, but his throw to first was late. Gale moved to second on a groundout by Almonte, who wasn't able to get down a good bunt. McCoy then dunked one into shallow center for a base hit that put runners on the corners with one out.

Patrick Kivlehan receives congrats from
Tacoma manager Pat Listach as he
rounds third base following his game-
winning home run in the ninth inning
against El Paso Sunday. Photo: Greg
Scheiderer.

That brought Tacoma manager Pat Listach to the mound, causing Weisenheimer and my Sweetie, the official scorer to lament, as we often do, about the lack of complete games in baseball these days. But it appeared that the main reason Listach went to the hill was to give home plate umpire Jeff Morrow an earful about a non-strike call during McCoy's at-bat, which both Germano and Hicks had also done with considerable emphasis moments before.

Listach left Germano in there. The next batter, El Paso center fielder Jake Goebbert, dunked a Texas-Leaguer toward left on which Taylor made a fine, over-the-shoulder catch for the second out. Left fielder Alex Dickerson then flied out to left to end the frame.

In the bottom of the ninth against Sullivan Rainier center fielder Leon Landry singled with one out. Hicks then hit into a 5-4 force, and Kivlehan drilled one over the fence in right for the game-winning homer, his 14th round tripper of the season.

Box score.

Germano loves Weisenheimer and Sweetie

This was the second game we have seen Germano pitch this season, and he's been outstanding in both. Back on May 17 he pitched six shutout innings in a 4-0 win over Las Vegas. Overall this season he is 7-3 and Sunday's shutout lowered his ERA to 2.83. Germano has given up no runs or walks in 15 innings when we're present this year. We suggest that the Rainiers pay our way to all Germano starts, home and away.

Dog day afternoon

The game was played on dog day, apparently known as K-9 innings, which seems a ridiculous idea even if the opponents are named the Chihuahuas. The pup sitting in our row, just behind the statue of Ben Cheney in section K, was reasonably well behaved, only growling two or three times at other passing canine spectators whose looks he, for whatever reason, did not like. Remind us to be absent the next time Fresno is in town, in case it's Grizzly Bear night. I wonder if, the next time the Albuquerque Isotopes visit Tacoma, the first five thousand fans through the gates will receive a pound of pure plutonium.

Work, work, work

Goebbert, the El Paso center fielder, made eight putouts, including five in a row in the sixth and seventh innings.

Orel exam

We noticed the name Jordan Hershiser on the El Paso roster and, sure enough, his pop is former Dodger hurler Orel Hershiser. Jordan didn't play Sunday, but on Saturday night, in his second career appearance in a game above A-ball, he surrendered the third of Ruggiano's home runs.

Tacoma Rainiers 4, Albuquerque Isotopes 1

Forrest Snow pitched seven innings of one-hit ball and Shawn "Oh, Really? No" O'Malley hit a two-run homer as the Tacoma Rainiers beat the Albuquerque Isotopes 4-1 June 14 at Cheney Stadium on a simply gorgeous sunny Sunday afternoon.

A gorgeous day at Cheney Stadium as the Rainiers defeated
Albuquerque 4-1. Photo: Greg Scheiderer.

My Sweetie, the official scorer, and I have never seen a no-hitter, and we always point that out to each other once each side has a safety in a game. Today's contest was as close as we've come, but it wasn't that close. Albuquerque's lone hit of the day was an emphatic one, a booming, 410-foot leadoff triple to left center in the top of the second by Isotope center fielder Drew Stubbs. Snow, who is a tall drink of water out on the mound at 6'6", did his best to strand Stubbs. He got Albuquerque catcher Dustin Gameau to squib one right in front of home plate, and Tacoma backstop Steve Baron pounced on it and fired to first to retire Gameau for the first out, with Stubbs holding. The next batter, second-sacker Angelys Nina, hit a fly ball to fairly shallow center field. Stubbs tagged and scored as Leon Landry's throw was weak and off line.

Tacoma took the lead for good in the bottom of the third when shortstop Chris Taylor hit a one-out single off Isotope starter Yohan Flande, and O'Malley followed with his third home run of the season, a no-doubt blast over the fence in left center. The Rainiers added single runs in the sixth and eighth. They could have had more, especially in the sixth, when they had the sacks full and one run already in with no outs, but three straight shallow fly balls didn't advance a soul.

Forrest Snow.

Snow was a little wild, as he walked four and struck out three in seven innings of work, leaving after throwing 98 pitches, 57 for strikes. He evened his record at 4-4 and lowered his earned run average to 2.43. Edgar Olmos closed it out for Tacoma, retiring Albuquerque in order in the eighth and ninth, striking out three of the six batters he faced and notching his first save of the year. Tacoma piled up 13 hits, with three from Carlos Rivero and two each from Taylor, O'Malley, and Landry. Taylor, recently banished to Tacoma after a short stint with the big club, was robbed of a third hit when his leadoff screamer in the seventh was snared on a leaping grab by first-sacker Matt McBride. Baron was the only Rainier without a knock. Tacoma somewhat limited its scoring chances by hitting into two double plays and having two runners thrown out stealing; squandering baserunners seems to be an organizational imperative at all levels.

Marte out

It was disappointing not to see top prospect Ketel Marte. The shortstop broke his thumb June 1 and will be out for at least four more weeks. He's hitting .343.

Montero makes the play

Jesus Montero will probably never make anyone forget John Olerud defensively down at first base, but he made a couple of nice plays Sunday. His diving stop of a hot grounder by Albuquerque right fielder Roger Bernadina turned what looked like a base hit into a 3-1 out. In the fourth Montero made a nice pick when Taylor fielded Gameau's grounder deep in the hole at short, whirled, and fired a short-hopper to first.

No free parking

We were a bit surprised to be charged $10 for parking at Cheney Stadium Sunday. It has been $5 since we can remember. It may be the first parking hike there since 1967. Nevertheless, a 100-percent bump is a little surprising. Our car needs washing, badly, and for that price they could have done a little detailing!

Box score

Tacoma Rainiers 4, Las Vegas 51s 0

Justin Germano pitched six innings of six-hit shutout ball, top Mariner prospect Ketel Marte hit his first home run of the season, and the Tacoma Rainiers blanked the Las Vegas 51s 4-0 Sunday in Tacoma.

Germano was fantastic in his six frames, never allowing a baserunner past second. He struck out six and did not walk a batter. A few balls were hit hard against him, particularly a leadoff double by Alex Castellanos in the fourth, but several of the six hits he allowed were seeing-eye grounders.

Justin Germano delivers a pitch against Las Vegas Sunday in
Tacoma. Germano pitched six shutout innings in the Rainers'
4-0 victory over the 51s. Photo: Greg Scheiderer.

Las Vegas' best chance for a rally came in the sixth, when T.J. Rivera and Matt Reynolds opened the inning with back-to-back singles, but they didn't move from first and second. Germano got Castellanos and Brandon Allen to fly out to shallow right, then fanned Travis Taijeron to end the inning and his day's work after 94 pitches. He improved his record to 3-1 and lowered his ERA to 1.46 over four starts and 10 total appearances.

Lucas Luetge pitched two perfect innings in relief and Mayckol Guaipe set down the 51s 1-2-3 in the ninth as the Rainiers retired the final 12 Las Vegas batters to come to the plate.

The Rainiers got all the runs they needed in the second when Patrick Kivlehan doubled with two out and, following a walk to Leon Landry, scored on a single by Shawn "Oh, really? No" O'Malley. Marte hit his first home run of the season, a line shot over the fence in right, with one out in the third. Tacoma tacked on two more in the seventh on only one hit, helped along by three walks and an error.

Marte, the Rainier shortstop, also walked and drove in a run on a groundout. He is batting .349 and has eight doubles and a triple to go with his home run and has stolen 13 bases in 16 tries. The 21-year-old switch hitter has some tools. We're anxious to see him called up, if only so the Mariners can open a new concession brand: Ketel Corn.

We were anxious to see the skinny version of Jesus Montero, who didn't play in the first game we attended at Tacoma last month. Montero was a feeble 0-for-4 Sunday with a whiff, a popup, and two groundouts, but is hitting .324 with four home runs on the campaign. He looks in great shape, though he's still the slowest runner we've seen since Edgar Martinez, or maybe even Alvin Davis.

O'Malley went 3-for-4 with a run, an RBI, and a steal, and was the only Rainier to log more than one hit.

Box score.

Dandies, the cult of the closer, and who the frack are you?

Baseball can be a cruel and unforgiving sport.

Mariner first baseman Justin Smoak has been the object of some derision from Weisenheimer, being tagged with the nickname "The Great Smoak" almost since the moment of his acquisition as the big prize in the trade of Cliff Lee, which was followed immediately by his nosedive from über-prospect to just-another-player-who-flopped-upon-arrival-in-Seattle.

The Great Smoak. Photo by
Keith Allison, Wikimedia
Commons.

Smoak has been enjoying a modicum of redemption this summer. While his figures (.266, 9 HR, .793 OPS as of this writing) aren't exactly Ruthian, they dwarf 2012, in which Smoak batted .217, with 19 homers that boosted his OPS all the way up to .654. (Even Brendan Ryan, the M's recently deposed sub-Mendoza-Line shortstop, has an OPS of .521.) My Sweetie, the official scorer, and I were at the Mariners game Monday night, a 2-1 win over Cleveland. Late in the game Smoak came to the plate, and, as if to emphasize that the player was not yet a household name, a kid sitting several rows behind us bellowed, "Get a hit, number 17!" Were kids in the Bronx in 1927 hollering, "Sock one, number three!" when the Bambino came to the plate? Was Stan the Man ever encouraged to "Knock one, number six!"? I think not. Smoak has a ways to go to win the hearts and souls of the fans.

The 2-1 game qualified as a "dandy" as defined by my Sweetie, the official scorer, who as official scorer is the ultimate arbiter of these things. I have to say, though, that after some 22 years of going to games together (as of next month), we may have arrived at somewhat different understandings of the standards under which a "dandy" can be declared. I'd always thought that a dandy featured five runs or fewer scored, with a final margin of no more than two. Thus, a 3-2 game could be a dandy. But recently I was informed I was mistaken, and that five runs are too many. So a 3-1 game could be a dandy, but a 3-2 contest was a little wild. In addition, it's not a dandy if any errors are committed. The margins were clear on Monday and the game was officially determined to be a dandy. (Don't even ask me about the definitions of "beaut" and "humdinger".) Plus it was a gorgeous night out for baseball and for a ride on the Water Taxi to get home. We had a lovely time out at the yard.

The dandy-ness was nearly botched by the appearance of M's closer Tom Wilhelmsen, who lost that gig for a while because he stunk, and now has it back despite the fact that he doesn't smell any better now than he did in June. Wilhelmsen "saved" Monday's game by allowing a one-out double (though we might have to cut him some slack on that one because 41-year-old Raul Ibañez was playing left field and, while he's having a bang-up year at the plate, Raul doesn't cover as much ground as he used to) and then an inexplicable walk to Jason Giambi, a once-feared hitter who is now 42 and batting .192, before getting the final out on a long fly to right field.

Wilhelmsen had relieved Charlie Furbush who had relieved starter Aaron Harang, who pitched seven innings while allowing just four hits, walking one, and giving up one run on a first-inning homer. He'd also retired the last nine hitters he'd faced, ripped through the sixth and seventh innings on just 11 pitches, and had thrown just 99 for the game. Weisenheimer is admittedly old-school, having grown up watching Bob Gibson and others who would bean the manager if they tried to take them out of a 2-1 game. I leave a guy in there if he's retiring the side in order on five pitches.

Admittedly, we don't know what else might have been going on. Perhaps Harang was truly out of gas, or overcome with emotion at the birth of the royal baby, but all things being equal I leave him in.

The Goose. Now that guy was a
closer! Photo by Bbsrock, Wikimedia
Commons.

What's even more annoying than the automatic, by-the-book summoning of the closer is the ridiculous production number that heralds his entrance into the fray. For Wilhelmsen the M's have concocted a video presentation based on an ear-splitting rendition of the Hendrix version of "Voodoo Child," which at least shows good musical taste, but for gawdsakes it's as if we had Ricky Vaughn or Goose Gossage coming in rather than a guy who brings back nightmares of Bobby Ayala and Heathcliff Slocumb.

By the way, as I sat down to write this, Wilhelmsen was notching another save Tuesday, during which he gave up singles to the first two hitters to put men on the corners with nobody out in the top of the ninth. A truly boneheaded baserunning move helped the M's turn the rare 5-4-2-6 double play, the last guy whiffed, and the M's had won their eighth straight.

Wilhelmsen has me in mind of a story from my friend Chuck, who tells of drafting Claude Raymond of the Expos in an APBA league after he had notched 23 saves for Montreal in 1970. When the year's cards arrived, Raymond was rated among the worst pitchers, thanks to an ERA of 4.43. Here's hoping no 13-year-olds are duped by "The Bartender's" saves this off-season.

M's and double plays

The Seattle Mariners are overachievers.

The other day after listening to the M's lose 2-1 in 14 inning to the Tigers--a game in which they hit into three twin-killings and had the potential tying run thrown out at the plate in the bottom of the 14th--I wondered aloud on Facebook how a team that gets so few baserunners and whiffs so often mangages to hit into so many double plays.

DP. It's happening to the M's a lot.

This evening I dug up the stats, and the numbers are truly amazing. Through Sunday's games the Mariners are 27th in Major League Baseball in on-base percentage (a paltry .285) and second in whiffs (167) yet somehow they have managed to lead all of baseball, grounding into 20 double plays.

I vaguely remember Bill James writing that the highest-scoring teams hit into the most double plays and leave the most men on base. I didn't dig up the reference, but the logic, as I recall, was simply that all three are to a great extent a function of having a lot of guys ON base. So for Seattle, a club that has a low average, draws few walks, and strikes out a ton, to lead the league in GDPs is quite an accomplishment. It could simply be that we've got a lot of slow guys who hit grounders. Even on the rare occasion when someone gets on first, it's just the pitcher's best friend waiting to happen.

One other interesting stat: The M's are tied for 26th in the majors in runs scored with 61. The three teams they've outscored are all National League clubs that let their pitchers bat. Nevertheless, let's be thankful for the Miami Marlins. Miami is last in baseball in scoring with a meager 43 runs in 19 games. Their team OPS is .557, average .212, on-base .271, and slugging .286. As a team they have six home runs already; they're "on a pace" for 51 taters for the season. As pathetic as we think the Mariners' offense is, they're outscoring Miami by nearly two runs per game.

M's promotions continue to baffle

It's been nearly three months since the last Weisenheimer post because I've been waiting until I had something really important to say: The Seattle Mariners' promotions can be baffling.

The latest chin-scratcher is "Beard Hat Night" which is coming up on Friday, April 26 when the M's play the Angels. They were in full-plug mode for this promotional event during last night's broadcast. The giveaway item is accurately and descriptively named, but as Ansel Adams once said, there is nothing worse than a sharp image of a fuzzy concept. There's the sharp image at left. The fuzzy concept is a knit cap with a knit beard attached. On those cold, Safeco Field evenings in April, you'll be able to keep your chin warm! Want one? The first 20,000 fans through the turnstiles next Friday get one free. At current attendance rates, this would leave quite a few extras that could be distributed at homeless shelters and other places where cold chins are a problem. Still, I'm sure that many folks are busy ordering tickets just to get a beard hat to add to their Mariner memorabilia collection.

Who thinks of this stuff? We wonder if the beard hat concept was cooked up to honor manager Eric Wedge, who is sporting a beard these days; my Sweetie, the official scorer, wants to fine him $100 for each day until he shaves it off. Maybe it was a nod to bearded pitcher Brandon Maurer, though a rookie hurler with an ERA of 9.95 isn't typically the sort upon whose shoulders (or chin) a big gate attraction is built.

More mysterious than beard hat night is the following evening's promotion. April 27 at the Safe will be Dustin Ackley bat night. As of this writing Ackley is batting .143 with an OPS of .356. Will the Ackley autographed bat given away that game have holes in it? This reminds me of the beloved bat I owned as a kid. It was christened the "Ray Oyler Toothpick" in honor of the outstanding shortstop who hit .165 for the Seattle Pilots in 1969.  Oyler's career-high seven homers that year helped drive his OPS up to .526, which dwarfs Ackley. (I apparently had an affinity for light-hitting shortstops as a kid; I still have my Dal Maxvill (career average .217) model baseball mitt.)

In his defense, Ackley has been on a tear. He was batting only .091 a week ago; if he continues on this hot streak he may be above the Mendoza Line by next Saturday. Otherwise, he may set a record for lowest batting average by a guy who has his name on bat night.

At right is a photo of my favorite M's promotional item ever--or at least part of it. "Anything Can Happen" was the team's official slogan in about 1984, and this medallion was once attached to a keychain that was given away at a game one night. I thought it was such a funny slogan--the "anything" that happened was a 74-88 record that year, the second-best in the team's dismal history to that point--that I used the keychain for many years. The chain broke ages ago, but I still keep the medallion in my spare-change dish just for a laugh.

Nothing yet tops the 2011 giveaway of the Franklin Gutierrez flyswatter, unless it's the J.J. Putz soul patch, pictured at left. I don't own one, but there's one for sale at Gasoline Alley Antiques, which has a lot of M's stuff in stock, including a certificate that proclaims "I was in attendance for Gaylord Perry's 300th Career Victory." The certificate is autographed by the Hall of Fame pitcher. There were few of those issued; attendance at the May 6, 1982 milestone game at the Kingdome was 27,369. Famously, two days later "Funny Nose Glasses Night" drew 36,716. That particular giveaway was hatched as something of a joke; the 1981 jacket night commercial below, with outfielder Tom Paciorek, started it. There's a great story about the night on the M's website. According to the yarn, people were interested in the glasses and, in true War-of-the-Worlds fashion, believed the promotion was real and called the team to ask when it was. They made it happen the following year. Also interesting to consider: three of the promotions on this page feature whiskers. I wonder how many other hairy promotions the M's have run over the years. Not sure if Buhner or Boonie Buzz Cut Nights count.

Say what you will, beard cap night is certainly creating a fuzz; er, buzz. After all, they tricked me into writing about it.

Spinner baseball and a mis-spent youth

It's no secret that I've whiled away about a zillion hours in my life playing baseball board and computer games. The lede of my biography on our business website reads, "Greg Scheiderer began telling stories as the eight-year-old play-by-play announcer for the contests played on his Cadaco All-Star spinner baseball game." My mom's oft-expressed lament was that if I would put as much effort into my schoolwork as I did into those silly games I might make something of myself! Maybe so, but I can still figure batting averages in my head, for what it's worth. Besides, it's all mom's fault; getting sent to my room as "punishment" meant quiet and uninterrupted time to spin a few games!

Weisenheimer spent a zillion hours (roughly) between
the ages of eight and 16 playing "spinner baseball"--Ethan
Allen's All-Star Baseball by Cadaco. As a Cardinal fan it
was a little galling to have to look at Wrigley Field for
all of those games!

I've been thinking about the Cadaco game of late, in part because I came across my beat-up copy of it last summer as we moved back into the house after our remodeling project. I completely wore out my first game and the second has seen extensive play; the box is held together with first-aid tape and I've stuck wood blocks in under the playing field to support the sagging cardboard diamond.

As evidence that most everything is on the Internet these days, I've found a couple of websites, a Wikipedia page, and a Facebook page devoted to the Cadaco game (where it's referred to as "ASB") as well as a Yahoo! group devoted to the ASB game and another for baseball board games in general. For those unfamiliar with the game, ASB is a simple baseball simulation. Each major league player included is represented by a disc based on actual statistics, with possible outcomes represented by wedges on the edge of the disc. The wider the wedge, the more likely a player is to achieve the result. Thus, Babe Ruth has a bigger home run wedge than does Mark Belanger. The disc is inserted in the spinner, you give it a flick, and the result is determined by where the arrow points. It's fully batter driven; it doesn't matter who is pitching.

This week there's been a lengthy discussion on the Yahoo! site about what to do when a spin lands "on the line" of the disc. Many players have developed elaborate answers to this question based on the pitcher, lefty/righty matchups, or which way the wind is likely to be blowing. (The correct answer, of course, is that a "line" is a foul ball.)

The player disc for the great Lou Brock! In ASB Lou is
no better or worse base stealer than Harmon Killebrew.

My first response to my renewed interest in ASB was to load my "Communist League" (as opposed to American and National; I was something of a Weisenheimer already when I created this thing as a little kid!) into APBA Baseball for Windows and see how it came out. One thing is certain: the offense is way down since pitchers matter and mostly elite hurlers are involved. As we near the halfway point of the 36-game season the Armpit (Idaho) Sprays have the best record in the league at 13–5. The Sprays are led by Ted Williams, who is second in the league in batting at an even .400 and leads the loop in slugging (.900), on-base percentage (.583), RBI (24) and has six home runs. Camp Freeman's Lefty Gomez is the loop's top pitcher at 7-3 with a stingy ERA of 0.85.

My baseball-gaming friends and I discovered the dice game of APBA about the time we started in high school. Pitchers, speed, and defense mattered, and the game was more sophisticated, so we switched over and ASB didn't see much playing time. Eventually APBA came out with the computer version, which wasn't necessarily as much fun, but it made the task of keeping statistics a lot easier! Three pals and I went back to the dice in the early '90s when we formed the League For All Seasons, starting out with the 1970 season, which was about about the first year we played APBA. Intending to play a season every three months, we so far have done 29 tournaments of 15 games per team, but haven't played an LFAS for about six years. We still get together and play other board games, but none of us is paying much attention to baseball.

I played a few Communist League games on the computer the other night. In one, Steve Carlton of the Texas Turkies took a no-hitter and a 4-0 lead into the ninth inning against the Jutland Jellicoes. Pinky Higgins broke up the no-no with a 0-out double, Jutland ended up scoring four in the ninth to tie it, then won 5-4 with a run in the 12th.

This little project is my first foray into computer baseball in a while. I dropped out of Puget Sound Computer Baseball about three years ago, no longer willing to put in the study time necessary to be competitive. (Besides, founding team members Barry Bonds and Greg Maddux retired, and it just wouldn't have been the same without them.) I played two seasons of The Century League determining modern baseball's best era, and that project ended 4 1/2 years ago. (It's funny to me that both the Century League and LFAS websites live on, despite the fact that they're connected to a Seanet account we dropped at least four or five years ago.)

I'm about ready for another computer baseball project, and have three concepts in mind. One is a league in which each team is made up of players whose last name starts with the same letter. The X's will have trouble fielding a team. The second is a tournament with the top 64 teams seeded in brackets and playing best-of-seven. The last is a reverse reality in which the damn Yankees are everyone else's farm club. We'd hold a draft at the start of each season and each other club, in reverse order of the previous year's record, gets to swap any of their players for any Yankee. It will be fun to drub them every year.

But first to finish out the Communist League slate. We've been waiting close to 40 years to see how it comes out.